Self Portrait series

Crowded Self, Acrylic on Board 46X38

3 Heads, Acrylic on Board 36X36

One Scream out of a Million People, Acrylic on board 46X38

My paintings are about my mother’s death and my mental health following the event. My mom passed away four years ago which left me devastated. I grieved sometimes through the obvious sadness, but also by masking the sadness by being too happy.. Often when I am depressed I feel overwhelmed and trapped. I choose to separate spaces into panels in some of my pictures to suggest spaces that are enclosed and claustrophobic

          Artistically I abstractly depict figures through distortion and subjective color.  I view the world through my surreal emotions. I believe that representational art would not capture this feeling. My emotions are multi-faceted. I choose to depict hundreds of figures to describe the craziness. Often I feel over excited. Life can be very busy, and be overwhelming. I use chaotic line markings in the background suggest this. 

Mom Floating in Space, Acrylic on board

   This painting is about how I watched my mom die. It took me years to paint about this event in my life because of how painful it was. I heard my mom scream from her room. I ran and opened the door, and found her lying in her bed with a blood hemorrhage. She was nearly dead but she had a faint pulse for about five minutes and then she died. I have philosophized for years what this moment felt for my mom. There was an ethereal presence to her during those lost moments .I wondered how it felt for her to leave the earth and to go towards heaven. I thought about that suspended moment between leaving. In this picture she is floating like almost being in a suspended space. The blue suggests the sadness of her dying. The chaotic line markings and the portraits of me in the diptych below are about my crazy grieving process.